IN CASE YOU MISSED IT BEFORE, let me reiterate...NEVER tell your trainer she could work you harder.  Trish has a definite take-no-prisoners attitude now that was apparently hidden underneath the "nice" trainer exterior.  But as much as my arms hurt today (and yesterday was a LEG day, mind you), I have to say I like it.  Not all of it, but most of it.  One thing I am finding is there are times when I truly think I can't do anymore, but with her urging, I can finish the set.  But other times when I truly think I can't do anymore I try to tell my arms to do one more curl, and I really can't.  I can't tell the difference between those two feelings yet. 

Boot camp starts in a couple of weeks, and I have a feeling I will start out being one of the slower participants.  Even with working out very hard with the trainer and doing some awesome power walks (when the weather finally cooperates--like today) I still don't have much endurance.  That makes me nervous, but I'm barreling through the nerves.  I have simply decided I will never get better if I don't continue to push myself, and I look forward to being one of the better participants by the end of boot camp.  I never realized before how paralyzed by fear I have been when it comes to fitness.  Part of it is my sense of competitiveness, which seems counterintuitive to not working out, but if I can't be the best right away, I really am disinclined to try.  Ask my mom, it drove her crazy most of my life.  This year, for no particular reason, I just decided to make the year about getting out of my comfort zone.  That's why I agreed to do the Blue Apple Players on Broadway event.  I've been terrified of singing in front of people for years.  I didn't die of mortification from that.  That's why I jumped into a freezing pool for Special Olympics.  Never wanted to do that, but it seemed like a good idea to do it just because.  So I am letting go of my fear of looking like an idiot at boot camp, and if I'm the absolute worst camper, then the other campers will have me to make them feel better about their own performance.  And I'm kind of okay with that, in theory.  I'll be the Mississippi of boot camp.  But not for long. 

I got an email the other day pointing out that I don't talk about my actual workouts in this blog.  The workouts are very cool, use very few machines (which bore the crap out of me) and lots of those rubber band things.  I have been extremely surprised by the level of intensity just using those bands.  Every workout is kind of different, but the core exercises are pretty much the same every day, and I've been trying to do those at home.  I use a big exercise ball and the bosu half ball thing, which is cool.  And then I do half an hour of cardio, usually the treadmill, on workout days, and I've been putting The Q in the stroller and hiking around the parks and neighborhood a lot, when it's not raining, on off workout days.  Lately the rowing machine has been a part of cardio, and it kicks my butt.  Hard.  I don't mind the cardio so much, but my knees will throw a fit if I do too much of that. 

On the total upside of all this, the muffin top removal has begun!  I put on a pair of pants that I would/could not wear spanxless for the last year and found I was muffin top free!  Not in all of my pants, mind you, but it's a start.  I also put on my jeans right out of the dryer and didn't have to struggle to get them on.  Small things yes, but every little victory counts.  Two battles down in the war on middle age pudge!  IF you're reading this and thinking about doing something, please stop thinking and join me at Better Body's Fitness for Boot Camp starting March 14th.  I need someone to keep me company in the back of the class!